Movie Review: Oz the Great and Powerful

From Con Man to King: Oz the Great and Powerful

Released: March 8, 2013

Director: Sam Raimi

Writers: Mitchell Kapner, David Lindsay-Abaire & L. Frank Baum

Rating: PG

Starring: 

James Franco as Oz
Mila Kunis as Theodora
Rachel Weisz as Evanora
Michelle Williams as Annie/Glinda
Zach Braff as Frank/Finley
Joey King as Girl in Wheelchair/China Girl

Full Cast and Crew HERE







Synopsis:
     Oscar Diggs (Oz) is a small time magician in a traveling circus with a penchant for weaving intricate tales with gadgets to seduce and amaze. Oz just wants to make it big like Houdini but while running from one of his schemes gone awry he gets caught up in a twister that transports him to the magical land of Oz where he finds fortune and fame within his grasp. The only catch is he has to defeat the wicked witch and save the land from darkness. An easy task for the Great Wizard of Oz right?

Review:

     Having loved The Wizard of Oz as a kid growing up I was a bit hesitant on what the result of a prequel to the classic would be. However, I was completely surprised by how much I enjoyed it and how great of an homage it was to the original! 

     Starting out in the classic small framed black and white resolution the audience gets a glimpse into the clever and slightly sleazy mind of Oz as he prepares for his show. If you recall in The Wizard of Oz, it became very evident that he wasn't a Wizard of the magical kind - but a man that relied on his smarts. It was a great introduction to the character of Oz and his backstory that would lead him to the Emerald City. James Franco with his goofy smile, high cheekbones and perfectly jelled hair pulled off the lies, contraptions and womanizing with a dash of conscience perfectly! He has no shortage of 'magical' skills and in combination with a smooth talking tongue he can sell you anything while leaving a trail of broken hearts behind.

     Mila Kunis as Theodora - is the first witch that Oz meets upon his arrival in the colorful land of Oz. Upon initially meeting her I wasn't too impressed. Mila was doing what she always does - the pretty face full of innocence. Soon Theodora develops a fast and hard attraction to Oz. As soon as that happened this was all I could think of:

     But by halfway through the movie, my initial judgement was completely turned on its head with the evolution of Theodora. Mila was freaking fantastic and maniacal! 

     I loved Rachel Weisz as Evanora - she was equal parts regal and clever; right up there with Michelle Williams as Glinda who was true to her gentle but firm leadership role. 

      Zach Braff was probably my favorite though. Being clever and goofy is his thing, but it was even better with his voice coming from the face of a monkey. 
  
     The land of Oz is breath taking in its beauty and horror. This has probably been one of the more effective uses of 3D technology that I've seen in awhile. Instead of the 3D being passive with cheap images popping once in awhile it was completely immersive. It had my heart going as we took a thrilling ride over waterfalls and I was full of awe at all the vibrant bugs and birds popping from the screen (a lot of the kids in the theater were trying to catch them). 

     Throughout the movie we watch Oz walking a fine line between what's right and wrong - I was never really sure what he'd do. It's filled with cheesy jokes, magic and a moral story for the kids. But there's definitely some adult innuendo, pop scares, a side plot to tug at the heart strings and nods to the original Wizard of Oz that will entertain and please supervising adults.  

 Overall: 4/5 Hot Cups of Tea!

Disney sure knows how to make a family friendly movie without completely ruining a classic. It's not a complex story, and most adults will know where it's all headed. But it is a visual feast, and will keep the kids entertained. Although you might want to save this for older kids, there were a few scares that had the kids in my theater screaming. This is definitely one worth seeing in theaters and probably owning to watch repeatedly!

     
    

Movie Review: Jack the Giant Slayer

Magic Beans Solve All Your Problems: Jack the Giant Slayer

Released: March 1, 2013

Director: Bryan Singer

Writers: Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie

Rating: PG

Starring: 

Nicholas Hoult as Jack

Eleanor Tomlinson as Isabelle

Ewan McGregor as Elmont

Stanley Tucci as Roderick

Ewen Bremner as Wicke

Ian McShane as King Brahmwell

Full Cast and Crew HERE




Synopsis:

     Jack, a simple farmboy sent on an errand ends up in the middle of a plot full of intrigue and desperation when a bag of magic beans ends up in his hands and sends him on a whirlwind adventure up a beanstalk to face creatures that had faded into legend...

Review:

     In continuing with the popular theme of re-vamping classic children's tales with a darker twist (like Snow White and the Huntsman or Hansel and Gretel); Jack the Giant Slayer seems to have gotten confused somewhere in its production. It wanted to be that violent movie with giants crushing puny humans left and right, but then it remembered it was originally a children's tale and so they tamed it down. So what we got was an oddly mixed movie stuck in the middle.

     It starts with some background of this world and the legend of the giants. With a slightly religious explanation behind how humans and giants met, this short story reaches a pretty epic conclusion and sets the scene for their descendants as the giants fade back into myth. 

     Jack was equal parts simple farmboy and an all around good guy. He does his best and is stupidly brave. His character is clever and a quick thinker, but I feel like any success he has was driven by sheer dumb luck. 

     Isabelle - the rebellious princess of the realm wants to experience the world and really get to know the people in order to be a "good ruler". In theory it's a great idea and something to commend her for. But in execution it becomes a train wreck. With little to no life skills she becomes a damsel in distress very quickly. 

     Then we've got the valiant loyal knight Elmont, the devious plotting Roderick and his irritating sidekick Wicke. Wicke ended up sticking out most in my mind, purely because his character was that henchman that's constantly hovering over the shoulder and a bumbling idiot that you just want to be quiet already! 

     The actors themselves all did a good job. The characters were pretty standard good guy/bad guy so there wasn't anything new there. I happen to really love Ewan McGregor but that aside he was snarky and perfect as Elmont. The giants were reduced to emaciated brutes that looked like they could have used some vit. C to cure that scurvy. They were the basis for a few cheap booger jokes and some yelling and thrashing. Because it's rated PG, it has to be reasonably family friendly so a lot of the Giant related deaths are off screen, or you just see the blurry fast results of falling great heights. 

     There were so many plot holes and inconsistencies! My boyfriend and I spent the drive home asking each other questions like "What about female giants?" (The original Jack and the Beanstalk story that this move loosely takes from involved the Giant's wife), or what happened to his uncle? Or the nonsensical and awkward size of a certain crown that apparently fits two fingers (why not just make it one finger?!) of a giant, but perfectly on the head of a human. 

     The romance is the classic "oh you saved me, my hero!" kind of love and for a princess that wanted to take charge of her life, she sure didn't mind letting the men lead. 

     So invariably in these medieval fantasy stories everyone speaks in an English accent (it's like everyone Roman does too >.>), but it was for a good reason and apparently the directors were trying to tie to the mythos in original Jack the Giant Killer story - but when it happened it felt so left field that it just takes you out of the magic of the story.

Overall: 3/5 Drinkable Cups of Tea.

It's entertaining, but the 3D aspect really did nothing to add to it (but to fluff up the movie price). The epic battle at the end fell really flat - I never felt like it got to that critical moment where you question if they're going to make it or not before the savior sweeps in. You should definitely wait until it comes out on DVD if you really want to see it.

Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

How to turn childhood trauma into a career: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Released: January 25, 2012

Director: Tommy Wirkola

Writers: Tommy Wirkola & Dante Harper

Rating: 18A

Starring: 
Jeremy Renner as Hansel
Gemma Arterton as Gretel
Famke Janssen as Muriel
Pihla Viitala as Mina
Peter Stormare as Sheriff Berringer
Rainer Bock as Mayor Engleman

Full cast and crew HERE








Synopsis: 
I'm sure most of you have heard the story of Hansel and Gretel by now. Did you ever wonder what their lives would be like after they escaped the witch? Well look no further, because Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters will tell you!

Traumatized, and orphaned these siblings become inseparable in their quest to rid the land of witches so that no one else has to end up on the dining table of a witch. Honing their skills and racking up the body count they build a formidable reputation for themselves. With an ominous Blood Moon approaching a small town and their children becomes the target for a coven of witches. Desperate the Mayor enlists the help of Hansel and Gretel. 

What starts out as a routine hunt soon becomes more complicated as the bread crumbs of their past is revealed...

Review:

     The movie starts off with a flashback to their youth, and the infamous candy house witch. This is a great recap for people who may not be completely familiar with the story. It's kept quick, simple and has a much more action based ending for the witch than the original story. Although it did leave out some crucial details to the story, it's more of a guideline for the rest of the movie anyways.

     Fast forward to years later (we're never actually told but I'm guessing probably 20 or so years later?). Hansel and Gretel having never found their way home, or their parents; subsequently become orphans. Angry and bitter at the witch that captured them, they make it their life's mission to rid the world of witches. With some seriously out of the time period, but wicked looking weapons they make their name known across the land. 

     First off, I was super surprised this was an 18A ('R') movie, but since you can only do so much with a story that's already well known - what they turned this into was a gore/jump scare/ silly humor/ boob fest. It was so gory, that it became cheesy gory and was hilarious at some points. There's a lot of dead-pan humor, and the modern swear words in a very medieval set felt so out of place that you had to laugh. 

     Jeremy Renner as Hansel, is his usual military badass self. His experiences with the candy house witch and the abandonment from his parents have definitely left their mark on him. He hunts with a singleminded focus, with no distractions (women would throw themselves at him and he seemed completely oblivious to it...), and suppresses any thoughts of his childhood. What I found as a super interesting plot device to add into his story was the detrimental effects of all the candy that he was forced to eat as a child - so you get a little bit of a health lesson while you're watching. BONUS: Jeremy Renner shirtless, do you really need to know any more?

     Gemma Arterton as Gretel was awesome! She's tough, smart and you could tell that she has to take a lot of bull from drunken backwoods men who think that women are only useful in the kitchen - but she takes it with grace and a hard headed approach. 

     While Hansel and Gretel worked together like a well tuned machine, I didn't feel like there was a deep sibling relationship. There were some scenes where I was just thinking - these are some really good looking people and whoaa are they going to kiss?!?! So I was slightly confused and weirded out, I had to keep reminding myself they were siblings. 

     One of the glaring problems I had with this movie was the townsmen. While this movie is based on witch hunting (and all the witches are female in this universe), there's a lot of misogyny. You know how mob mentally is during witch hunts, they all start accusing the pretty single female girl. But even Gretel's strength couldn't overcome it, and I was really hoping for a super strong female smackdown with a self satisfied smirk at the end. But she ended up turning into a damsel in distress and that was really disappointing. 

     The witches in this movie and their gruesome appearance was pretty spectacular. Seeing Famke Janssen as a witch for the first time was terrifying and damn she can whip up some creative curses. The overall plot that the witches had going was a pretty predictable one (I actually ended up guessing the "plot twist" at the beginning), but it works with the purpose of the movie.

     The movie was action packed in the beginning and it was off to an entertaining start. Then it tried to make Hansel and Gretel form other meaningful relationships which bogged the movie down partway through. I'm not quite sure where they were trying to go with it. There were also a lot of huge revelations about their past and what really bothered me was that it didn't seem to phase them and they didn't build on it or comment on it - it was just kind of revealed and off they went to take a witch head! 

Overall: 3/5 (Rounded up from 2.5) Drinkable Cups of Tea.

I feel very 'meh' about it. I didn't hate it, but it's pretty much a movie for if you want to sit for an hour and a half and not do much thinking. If you go into this with low expectations you'll be fine. The weapons were a bit too advanced for the time period and it had a very shallow and predictable plot but if you liked Van Helsing odds are you'll find this entertaining. I think your best bet would be to wait until it's in a cheap theater or rent it when it comes out, it wasn't worth the Ultra AVX 3D price tag attached to it.

     

Movie Review: Breaking Dawn Part 2

It's FINALLY OVER: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Released: November 16, 2012

Director: Bill Condon

Writers: Melissa Rosenberg, Stephenie Meyer

Rating: PG-13

Starring: 
Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan
Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen
Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black
Peter Facinelli as Carlisle Cullen
Elizabeth Reaser as Esme Cullen
Ashley Greene as Alice Cullen
Jackson Rathbone as Jasper Hale
Kellan Lutz as Emmett Cullen
Nikki Reed as Rosalie Hale 
Billy Burke as Charlie Swan
Mackenzie Foy as Renesmee
Michael Sheen as Aro





Synopsis: 
Continuing where Breaking Dawn Part 1 left off - Bella is now a vampire, happily married to Edward, with a new baby girl Renesmee. But a chance encounter with a neighbouring vampire Irina who thinks the baby is an illegally made immortal child sends their fairytale ending into a cataclysmic downward spiral as the Volturi converge on them to rectify the situation. But not all hope is lost as the Cullen clan race around the world to rally allies together to fight in this crucial battle that will decide the fate of the Cullens....How far are you willing to go to protect your family?

Review: 

     When I first read this book years ago, I knew it'd be an incredibly difficult story to try to adapt to the big screen. For one, after the bustle of living out the romantic fantasy wedding/honeymoon and the subsequent Alien-esque uterus busting birth not much happens. There really isn't any action scenes in the book that could keep the men of the audience engaged like the previous installments, so Meyer had to improvise and I have to say for the first time in this franchise I was extremely surprised and LOVED that twist ending! 

     I think I found it so enjoyable because it felt like the director knew that there were ridiculous aspects to this whole story and he just took it and RAN WITH IT. The movie knew when to make fun of itself and didn't try to take itself too seriously 3/4 of the time. There's so many puns, innuendo and corny moments that I just dare you to try and not laugh at it.    

     My first complaint would be the CGI baby, I know Renesmee is growing fast and I guess it was too hard to cast 4-5 different baby/children for the role. But really, it was like looking at Pixar movie that had awkwardly stumbled into the set - or the Ally McBeal dancing baby. 

For those non-90's kids.

     

     I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with how well Kristen Stewart took to vampirism. She was gorgeous all the time with poise and grace mixed with motherly ferocity. I had a hard time remembering how awkward and slouchy she was before (I loved the little comment that Alice makes about this). She seemed much more confident in her role and it reflected in Bella how she was much more passionate with Edward - but I will never ever stop giggling at the sparkles and chimes used in their "climax". 

     Oh Edward Cullen, how far you've come. My is that a SMILE on your face? Are you LAUGHING? Say it isn't so! But it is! For once you're happy, and relaxed and it will surely make more fan girls swoon because you're actually making eye contact now, and not speaking through gritted teeth. But seriously, it was great to see Robert not have to be so stiff and constrained - it looked like he was genuinely having fun.

     Dear Taylor Lautner, we all know what your job on this movie is and we can always count on you for it. Please accept my apologies for joining in the cat calls while you shucked your clothing. But really Jacob's character was the ice breaker of the movie. His scenes are by far the most memorable and he dealt with all the pivotal stuff like facing Bella's wrath and stripping. 

     I can't say much for Mackenzie Foy as Renesmee, she's cute and all but she's got maybe a couple of lines and for the rest of the movie it's like a silent film with her because she communicates psychically. 

     The other vampires, however briefly we got to know them really stole the show. It was just such an eclectic mix from all over the world and I was really more interested in the mystery and intrigue that their back-stories would have provided than the situation at hand. 

     Oh the ending, it was so freaking EPIC. I won't ruin it for you. But the entire row of girls in front of me were screaming and rocking in their seats mumbling a prayer of "THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!! AAAHHH THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN". It really didn't happen in the book, but I really wish Stephenie Meyer had written it in, cause that was a hell of a twist! 

Overall: 3/5 Cups of Drinkable Tea

You know you have to go see how this movie ends, and honestly I enjoyed it faaar more than all the others! Now to patiently wait for Stephenie Meyer's The Host, I just hope she'll at least continue that story - it was a pretty good one.

     

Movie Review: Skyfall

Face it altogether at: Skyfall

Released: November 9, 2012

Director: Sam Mendez

Writers: Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, John Logan, Ian Fleming

Rating: PG-13

Starring: 
Daniel Craig as James Bond
Judi Dench as M
Javier Bardem as Silva
Ralph Fiennes as Gareth Mallory
Naomie Harris as Eve
Berenice Marlohe as Severine
Ben Whishaw as Q

Synopsis: 
For MI6 agent 007, it just seems like another day at the office until a judgement call is made that sends Bond dropping out of the sky. Resurrected  from the dead, Bond is tested to his limits - physically, mentally and especially his loyalty to M as someone from M's past comes back to wreak havoc in a very personal way. 

Review:

     First things first, I really didn't like the first two Daniel Craig as James Bond movies. They were entertaining in an action sequence, mystery spy intrigue way but it was dark and missing the suave Bond banter and seduction. But this movie COMPLETELY CHANGED IT ALL for me. I LOVED IT. 

     It snares your attention immediately with none other than an extremely well executed (and one of the better chase scenes that I've seen in a long time) and then it brings us to the Bond opening, with the gorgeously melodic Adele crooning 'Skyfall' - it was a perfect start so far! 

     It seems like some very important information has been, 'misplaced' and M is in hot political water as agents start dropping left and right. But it takes a big bang to bring Bond back from his booze fueled mini-retirement. What I loved seeing in Skyfall was a human side to Bond. I was so used to seeing this constantly confident and always in control Bond that always comes out of any situation unscathed - it was refreshing to see a tremor, and exhaustion. It completely shook me and it made the movie so much more intense - I was gasping and clutching my seat because there was this very real possibility that he might not make it. It created a deeper Bond character - he's only human, but it's what he does to overcome it that makes him the superior spy. 

     M and Bond have always had a complex relationship, but one that has stood the test of time. Skyfall gave us a behind the scenes look at a very intimate part of this relationship, and I loved that we got peek into the clouded backstory of Bond. This whole movie was like one giant ode to the series (it is the 50th anniversary!). They snuck in so many references, and snide remarks - it was definitely the highlight of the movie watching the characters banter. 

     Speaking of banter, the dialogue has loosened up considerably. There's a great flow and interaction between Bond and the characters. Even characters that appear briefly were written in such a way that they emblazoned a lasting impression. Especially with the Bond girls, sexy and deadly they could each hold their own with Bond. 

     The plot is crafted to the tiniest detail and keeps you on your toes as Bond jet sets around the world. There's moments where you'll be laughing, crying and gasping in shock and awe. Two and a half hours flew by and while I predicted part way through how the ending would go - it definitely ends with a guns blazing bang and not a whimper. It's set up for a continuation, and I'm not sure that any successors can live up to this one, but I'll be more than willing to give it a try. 

Overall: 5/5 STEAMING HOT Cups of Tea!

GO GO SEE IT NOW! Go find out what deep dark secrets M and Bond are hiding. Find out what Skyfall is! (You know you want to, it's so worth it!) See how this historic slice of the series ends - and how the next will start...

Movie Review: Dredd 3D

Judge, Jury and Executioner: Dredd (3D)

Released: September 21, 2012

Directors: Pete Travis

Writers: Carlos Ezquerra, Alex Garland, John Wagner

Rating: 18A

Starring: 

Karl Urban as Judge Dredd

Olivia Thirlby as Anderson

Lena Headey as Ma-Ma

Synopsis:

     In the future, most of America is a nuclear wasteland. Populations are aggregated into large cities, in this instance called Mega-City one - with 800million people living in the ruins of an old city with the Mega buildings of the new. In such tight quarters and poverty, crime lords and their gangs run rampant. The only thing keeping some semblance of order in the city are Judges; who act as the judge, jury and executioner all in one efficient package. This movie follows Judge Dredd, assigned rookie Judge Anderson for her final evaluation to becoming a full judge. Meanwhile a new mind altering drug called SLO-MO is making its way into the market and its users end up drawing the attention of the Judges to drug lord Ma-Ma's hideout... 

Review:

     When I first saw the trailer for this movie I had never heard of Judge Dredd either in its original comic form or the Sylvester Stallone movie, but I was definitely intrigued. This time around (unlike with Total Recall), I didn't want to taint the allusion I had created about Judge Dredd based on what I had read so I avoided the heavily negatively criticized Stallone movie so I could go into this movie with a blank slate. 

     The movie opens up with a panoramic exploration of post nuclear disaster America with a Karl Urban voice over giving us a run down of the setting and situation, as well as the role of Judges. I loved that it didn't take forever to explain everything, it brings you right up to speed with what is going on in this reality in a straightforward manner. Then it dives immediately into the action by showing us the typical day of the life of a Judge, you know looking bad ass in uniform, chasing down thugs on motorcycle and generally kicking butt without breaking a sweat. 

     Karl Urban (he played Dr. McCoy in the new Star Trek) as Judge Dredd was pretty awesome! He's a seasoned Judge, so not much phases him. He's cold, calculated and stringent in following the law. He never takes his helmet off (evidently in the Stallone version when he did this it was a huge no-no!), so it adds an air of anonymity and mystery to Dredd. We never really get to know him deeper, but really that's not the point of this movie. All we really need to know is that he's the best at his job and that he's unwavering in his dedication to doing what's right. His character is kind of like Robo-Cop, a bit stiff (especially in dialogue) - but even this plays into his character perfectly when he delivers dead pan lines that are just relaxed enough to break the tension in the situation. 

     Then the movie moves on to contrast with the daily life of a drug lord, namely Ma-Ma's dealings and keeping other gangs in line. Just when you think Lena Headey (she also plays Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones) couldn't be more awesome - she takes playing a villain to a whole new scar faced and piss your pants kind of level. To be a female drug lord and to command so much attention and fear she has to be ruthless. Sometimes I wondered if she wasn't just a little bit off her rocker (she probably was). I've watched a lot of action movies and I thought I'd seen every possible way of killing someone- but Ma-Ma managed to completely surprise and shock me!

     Olivia Thirlby as Judge Anderson was a little ray of hopeful sunshine amidst all the dark grunge of the slums. She's young, fresh faced and hasn't been completely broken down by how crappy is life yet. She wants to make a difference, no matter how small. Oh I forgot to mention that all this post-nuclear radiation is probably mutating people and she has psychic mind reading abilities? I love that her character goes through a very visible change from the beginning of the movie to the end - her experiences mark and ground her a bit. 

     The story isn't deep and earth shattering, but it does entertain and keep you constantly on your toes. There were some twists I wasn't expecting and there's really nicely done foreshadowing in the beginning. I'm not usually a fan of 3D movies, given a choice I will always choose a regular movie. But the 3D effects in this movie really worked in its favor, especially in combination with the slow motion effects. When I first heard that there would be slow motion involved I really thought it'd be cheesy The Matrix style bullet dodging kind of effects. BUT it's NOT! It's completely relevant to the story, especially with letting viewers experience what the SLO-MO drug users are experiencing. These slow-mo scenes had such exacting detail, they were some of the most exquisitely rendered scenes ever! 

     Now keep in mind it is an 18A rated movie!! There is blood, gore, slow motion bullets through heads and a really really uncomfortable sexually suggestive scene. Fans of shoot em up, senseless violence movies will definitely love this one! 

Overall: 4/5 Hot Cups of Tea!

Heart stopping fight scenes, overzealous use of heavy artillery, paranormal abilities, experiencing mind altering drugs without the side effects and a drama free female/male partnering! What more could I ask for? I enjoyed it!
Also on a random side note, this society apparently "recycles" dead bodies, my boyfriend and I came to the conclusion that they were probably being made into Soy-lent Greens to feed the starving population...any other theories?

     

Movie Review: Total Recall (2012)

New Vs Old: Total Recall 

Released: August 3, 2012
Directors: Len Wiseman
Writers: Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback
Starring: 
Colin Farrell as Douglas Quaid/Hauser
Kate Beckinsale as Lori
Jessica Biel as Melina
Bryan Cranston as Cohaagen
Bill Nighy as Matthias





Synopsis:
     In the near future man kind destroys itself in a chemical war, leaving the only survivors to form two factions - each with very limited space and resources: The United Federation of Britain (UFB, located of course in Great Britain) and The Colony (located in Australia). The poor working class of The Colony travel to the UFB via "The Fall" an elevator through the Earth's core in order to work. There's tension between the two factions, elevated by terrorist attacks by The Resistance.
     Enter Douglas Quaid, a simple factory worker from The Colony - or so he thought. Quaid begins having violent vivid nightmares and decides that the solution is to go to Rekall - a business that specializes in implanting fake but generally pleasurable memories. But during his visit to Rekall, the implant doesn't go as expected and soon Quaid's dreams become a reality as he races to figure out what's real and what isn't.

Review:
      I went into this movie with zero idea about the original. I mean the original came out in 1990 - I was just a wee baby still, I can't be held accountable for having not seen it. That being said - after seeing the new version I felt that I should go back and see the old one before making this review.
      So I sat through Total Recall (1990), through Arnold Schwarzenegger's cheesy lines, the corny special effects (eye balls popping out during depressurization should not take that long!) and the clothes (*shudder*). I've been spoiled by high definition and whole movies generated with precision by computers. So going back and watching this was a little bit painful for me. 
      While Total Recall (2012) was a remake, it has become its own movie while taking its essence from the original. It kept the basic idea that Quaid was having nightmares that ultimately lead to him discovering some shocking secrets about his life and his memories, the basic path of discovering the truth and ultimately the decision he has to make; as well as staying true to the characters of Melina, Lori and Cohaagen. But where it differs greatly is in the main plot. In the original the whole plot centers around a colony on Mars, they've taken that completely out of the picture and replaced it with a story based more heavily on the tension between the two factions, stripped some unnecessary characters, updated all the technology of this futuristic world and changed Cohaagen's motives. 
      The end result: we get an action packed adventure full of intense chases, fights, drool worthy gadgets and plot twists that will make you wonder how real your memories are. 
      While writing this review, when I looked up the director (Len Wiseman) - he seemed familiar. Then I realized he directed all the Underworld movies. Which is probably why I felt like I was having deja vu when Kate Beckinsale and Bill Nighy both showed up. True to Wiseman's style, the movie is visually stunning, plot wise - it's not going to win any Oscars but you will be entertained, which is the purpose of movies isn't it? 
      Colin Farrell in this role was pretty standard for him, I mean he delivers his sullen lines, gets confused and then goes through some really kick ass action sequences - it doesn't exactly take a master actor to get through this story. So while the acting is pretty "eh" he makes up for it in the fights, like when he takes down a whole group of soldiers all by his lonesome.
      In the original Total Recall, the role of the wife Lori was much more minimized. While she still had deadly skills, she was pushed to the back burner while her male counterpart, Richter, took over. In this new version, they cut Richter and made Lori both the wife and right hand woman for Cohaagen, which was much more effective. Looking at the two movies now, I realize that Richter was pretty useless when there's an equally effective female version. Kate Beckinsale as Lori, was awesome though! She's still stuck in her usual action roles, but she managed to play the innocent adoring wife and then she slips into this really terrifying "she's got a crazy look in her eye" action character. What utterly pisses me off though is how these people do action shots with long hair, it's impossible, I can barely walk without my hair getting in my face let alone run, jump and shoot at the same time at mach speed. 
      Jessica Biel did earn some brownie points as Melina, she tied her hair back, but then it magically starts flowing in the wind partway through. Biel did an awesome job as a tough resistance member, who could hold her own, but also as this affectionate love interest of Quaid's. Plus, with Kate, they provided probably one of the most epic cat fights ever.
      Bryan Cranston as Cohaagen was kind of a bust to me. He will always be Hal from Malcolm in the Middle, and as a result I don't think I'll ever be able to take him seriously. I just wanted to giggle every time he shouted an order. 
      I'm really glad this remake managed to keep the suspense of the original where you wonder which life of Quaid's is the real one - there's some really heart stopping and tense moments that had me questioning whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. This movie is also much less grotesque mutants, and more slums of Asia (because in every futuristic imagining apparently Asian culture is the sole survivor of a global annihilation). They also managed to drop some nods at the original, like the three breasted woman. But it seems the directors just wanted to flood this movie with familiar faces and that ended up dropping the ball a bit. As soon as I saw John Cho - bleached blond, and like Cranston, I could only think of Cho has Harold (from Harold and Kumar), which resulted in more giggling. 

Overall: 4/5 Hot Cups of Tea!

 While the older Total Recall is a "classic", I just can't get past the cheesiness. I ended up preferring the new to the old. I really enjoyed it, mainly because once in a while I enjoy a mindless action movie. This version definitely had a clearer and more hashed out plot than the original. I loved all the gadgets, there were some really cool car chases, fist fights and "The Fall" was pretty spectacular. All in all, you'll be entertained as long as you go into this for the action and not expecting an award winning - break your heart kind of story.  

Movie Review: Brave

    Lessons Learned Be: Brave

Released: June 22, 2012
Directors: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman
Writers: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman
Starring: 
Kelly Macdonald as Merida
Billy Connolly as Fergus
Emma Thompson as Elinor
Synopsis from IMDB: 
Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her kingdom. Granted one wish, Merida must rely on her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly curse.


Review:
    Princess Merida is your typical teenager, she's defiant and prefers to be doing what she wants; which makes her constantly butt heads with her mother. This conflict of course is the main plot point of the whole movie. Her mother, Queen Elinor spends her days trying to prepare her to be the future Queen by giving her etiquette lessons, teaching her practical if not typical girl skills like eloquent speech making, sewing and all while wearing proper court clothing. What Merida would prefer to do is run wild with her fiery hair blowing in the wind and practicing her archery skills - all of which her father fully supports. But when the day comes for her to use all the skills that her mother has taught her to seal a deal to ensure the safety of her kingdom, she decides to use her archery skill set instead - throwing the kingdom into imminent chaos. 
       From the previews this movie looked like it'd be a fun time. Plus it's Pixar and really it's hard for Pixar to go wrong. The plot follows your typical teenage rebellious phase, but set in the highlands of 10th century Scotland. So when Merida disagrees with her mother's plan for her, she goes off in search of her own solution to change her fate. But it has very unexpected results. True to Disney fashion - something pretty horrible happens to the mother figure (think about it: they're usually not in the picture, evil, or something happens to them) and the rest of the story is a quest to change her fate yet again, queue bonding moments and epic battles.
      I loved Merida's independent streak, drive to do boyish things and take control of her life. But because it is 10th Century Scotland, girls were expected to do other things at that time. So on one hand it's "you go girl!" and on the other you just know this isn't going to go down a very good path. But it's a time proven way to effectively run your plot, even if it's cliche. Merida initially is very brash and just wants the easiest solution possible - so bring in the magical element, the quick fix for everything! Only there's a very fine print with using magic, and it's a price she wasn't expecting to pay.
      Her mother just wants to do what's best for the kingdom. She definitely wears the pants (under her skirt of course) of the relationship with her husband. But instead of ruling with brute force she definitely carries an air of authority that isn't to be trifled with. She's got that stern look that immediately silences a rowdy room and she isn't afraid to drag you off by your ear kind of approach. I really did like her, it's not like she was an unreasonable mother - but that's just because I'm looking at this as an adult reflecting on the lessons, as a kid I'd be "THIS IS SOO UNFAIR!! You're ruining my life!!!" in the whiniest voice possible. 
     Her dad, King Fergus was especially awesome. What he's used to dealing with is weapons and war. But really he's a big softy that loves his kids, and loves recalling epic adventures over a mug of mead. He's one part of the comic relief in when he plays the devil's advocate with his wife when they discuss Merida's incorrigibility and when he inadvertently encourages Merida to do her own thing.
     My absolute favorite characters were Merdia's little triplet brothers. While they had no lines, they're the perfectly little mischievous trio that provide the biggest laughs. You can only imagine what kind of trouble three little boys might get into - especially in their quest for sugary treats. 
     The actors put great inflections and (with most of the cast being Scottish) excellent Scottish brogues with their voice acting, and the animation as per Pixar standards was vivid, detailed and gorgeous renditions of the highlands and deep woods. 
      While there was an attempt at a sinister villain aspect to the story - I felt that it was really unnecessary, and it was just there for random scares and tensions and as a part of the resolution I wasn't really sure if it was supposed to be a good thing or not (it probably was). The story is pitched that Merida's kick ass archery skills will save the day, but I was really disappointed in the end. You know what saves the day? The Princess lessons that her mom taught her of all things.
      The actual ending doesn't seem all that happy and in the bigger picture she really didn't change her fate. It's more like the inevitable has been delayed for the time being. 

Overall: 3/5 Cups of Drinkable tea.

It starts out strong, but it starts wavering towards the end. While your kids will undoubtedly enjoy it for the comedic elements and colorful animation, I was just left feeling a bit unfulfilled at the ending. I think I probably just over thought the whole story.

      

Movie Review: Magic Mike

So you really probably shouldn't read this if you're not 18 or over...

Time to Objectify some Men with Magic Mike! 

Released: June 29, 2012.

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Writer: Reid Carolin

Starring:

Matthew McConaughey as Dallas (the strip club owner)

Channing Tatum as Magic Mike 

Alex Pettyfer as Adam ("The Kid")

Olivia Munn as Joanna

Cody Horn as Brooke

Joe Manganiello (aka Alcide from True Blood) as Big Dick Richie

Matt Bomer (He's also Cooper on Glee, Blaine's brother) as Ken

Adam Rodriguez (he was Eric in CSI: Miami!!) as Tito

Full Cast Here

Rated R 

Synopsis: Mike is a a very hard working man, he's a stripper, roofer, furniture builder, entrepreneur and all around likes to have a good time. Then we meet Adam, 19 year's old and freshly kicked out of school, he's angry and down on his luck as he crashes on his sister's couch while he drifts from one job to another. Meeting at a construction job, Mike takes pity on Adam and shows him the ropes to being a successful stripper, making lots of easy money and women.  

Review:


     Firstly, girl's be kind and leave your poor men out of this. Not only is it much more fun as a part of a girls night, there's no need to subject them to the gratuitous muscled nudity that you'll drool over, and constant girlish squealing (I feel bad for the solitary male soul that was in our theatre). 

     The director definitely knew how to draw the crowd in with the first 30 seconds of the movie. We get a flash of McConaughey as Dallas the club owner, as he does a great ring master-esque tease and just as it builds up the suspense BAM white screen with plain black letters annoucing some month. It was a total shock to the system and felt completely out of place. This happens a few more times as we progress through the movie, and it serves as a time lapse interlude for the plot, but I just felt like it made the flow of the movie really jerky with these odd start and stops.

     I'm just going to let you know right here and now, that the whole plot of this gets way deeper than I thought it would, but it was also a bit disappointing. It starts of very light and happy, dancing, stripping, cheering, attempts at real relationships, sex, drugs, money but then halfway through the movie it takes a really dark turn, and things start spiraling down this ominous vortex.
    
     I feel that we really didn't get to resolve a lot of the issues that they brought up. Like Alex Pettyfer's character ends up going through a lot of harsh times, and he didn't really learn a lesson and we really don't know where he's going in the end - is he going to be a stripper until he's old? Most likely.

     Channing Tatum's character gets a lot of his hopes dashed, but apparently he's totally okay with it at the end (when most people would flip the hell out). Instead of developing all these plot lines, they just distracted us with a lot of lights, music and tear off pants - which we all know was the real reason to go see this movie anyways.

     The script and direction could've been a bit better, there's a lot of awkward pauses, overdrawn silences in conversation and "Um, Uh, Ahhs." that act as time fillers instead of adding to the moment. But there were a few genuine scenes of fluid and hilarious dialogue - most of this of course takes place in the strip bar, but also in the banter between Magic Mike and Adam's sister Brooke.

     Now on to what you've all been waiting for.... *Drum Roll*.... The Strippers!!

     I applaud every single one of these guys, they freaking rocked! Awesome bodies... amazing coreography, props and they just really pulled us into this fast paced world of male strippers that entertained and thrilled!

     Alex Pettyfer as Adam really took his role above and beyond by playing so many different aspects. He starts out really shy and unsure of everything in his life. Then on stage he ends up taking charge, risks and really embracing his inner stripper. He's got this boyish quality to him, and the rugged look that definitely makes the girls swoon. But when the money starts rolling in, he really lets it get to his head (more like he's letting his downstairs brain do the thinking) and his life starts collapsing in on him again.  

     Channing Tatum definitely puts his "Step Up" dance training to use as he does a lot of hip hop styled dancing in his routines. He's been in the game awhile now, and knows how to work up a crowd. I really was rooting for his character to find a happy ending because he is an all around great guy. Considering this was partly based on Channings real life previous stripper experience, he played his part well as a mentor and added stability to the story.

      Joe Manganiello (aka Alcide from True Blood) as Big Dick Richie was my absolute favorite stripper of them all! He was genuinely funny backstage and even during his routine. I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing him nude...While there are certain restrictions on what nude body parts we get to see in movies *hint hint* - they really pushed what they could show to the limit and it was all with Joe. He *ahem* really lived up to his character's name.

     The other guys were awesome in their back up dancer roles, and they each had their own signature routine. Although Tarzan was my least favorite stripper, long hair and a dopey old wrestler attitude just doesn't do it for me.

     I don't usually like watching Matthew McConaughey in movies, he always plays the same part in each movie (single, good looking guy in a romantic comedy), but his role as Dallas the strip club owner was perfect for him!! It's like he was born to rile a female crowd up in anticipation for nude men!

     The girls in this movie were a surprising bunch (the ones that weren't squealing at the strippers that is), they were educated, strong, independant and didn't take crap from these guys. So it was definitely a refreshing take from instant love.

     To sum it up, plot wise this movie is pretty much crap. But I went in there in anticipation of this and just took this movie at face value. It lives up to it's gimmick, which is to entertain a crowd of screaming females clutching dollar bills to shove into male thongs and that's how I chose to enjoy this movie and enjoy it I did!

Overall: 4/5 Hot Cups of Tea!

It's a feel good movie to enjoy with a gaggle of girlfriends with some snacks where we can all freely lust over these men without feeling guilty. I gaurantee you'll giggle, blush and leave with a smile plastered on your face! 

    

          

Movie Review: Mirror Mirror

Snow White Retelling Mania! Featuring: Mirror Mirror 
Released: March 30, 2012
Director: Tarsem Singh
Writers: Jason Keller, Marc Klein
Starring:
Julia Roberts as The Queen
Lily Collins as Snow White
Armie Hammer as Prince Alcott
Synopsis from IMDB: 
After the beloved King vanishes, his ruthless wife seizes control of the kingdom and keeps her beautiful 18-year-old stepdaughter, Snow White, hidden away in the palace. But when the Princess attracts the attention of a charming and wealthy visiting prince, the jealous Queen banishes the girl to a nearby forest. Taken in by a band of rebellious but kindhearted dwarfs, Snow White blossoms into a brave young woman determined to save her country from the Queen. With the support of her new friends, she roars into action to reclaim her birthright and win back her Prince in this magical adventure comedy that will capture the hearts and imaginations of audiences. 


Review: 


     So the theme these days is the retelling of fairytales, the Disney version or otherwise. This year in particular seems to be Snow White themed (ABC's Once Upon A Time, Snow White and the Huntsman *shudder* just to name a few). I hadn't really heard anything about Mirror Mirror promotion wise it wasn't huge, and when it premiered way back in March it was kind of buried under the shadow of The Hunger Games. So when I got free cheap-movie passes that were set to expire this week and out of all the options, Mirror Mirror was the best one (Battleship was the other, but I was pretty iffy about a movie based on the game...).


     I went into Mirror Mirror with pretty low expectations, I had seen previews for it and all I could recall was a blur of skirts in bright colors. The story remains fairly true to the usual script, Snow White is kept hidden away and opressed while the Queen takes center stage (she loves to spend money she doesn't have). Then there's the slew of ever helpful servants that open Snow White's eyes to the world and it makes her want to be a better person. They do add a few elements to the story, and shift things around a bit - but all in all it was a very recognizable story.


     Since this is pitched as a comedy, on that front it doesn't disappoint. The whole movie is a giant farce. It has slap-stick humor and crude jokes. Some moments are genuinely funny, and others are just so ridiculous you have to laugh. It even manages to incorporate slightly cartoonish elements like sparkles when there's "magic" or little popping hearts above heads when they're in love - it was a little weird at first. 


     I think since the writers and directors knew with the cookie cutter script, they weren't likely to win any awards for story or acting, so they threw all their pennies into visual stimulation overload. The costumes were bright and extremely elaborate, if not a little bit weird at times (A swan on the head? Really?). But I loved each and every one of them! They're so gorgeous! 

     On a side note, @PaisleyTran and I have a long standing and odd fascination with Lily Collin's eyebrows. With the dark hair and ebony skin they give her, it looks like they might've darkened and possibly over expanded her eyebrows, just to give her a hyper expressive face. Even my boyfriend noticed, and Paisley was right when she said that it's not just us if even a guy noticed, because it has to be something HUGE if a guy notices something so frivolous. 


    Eyebrows aside, Collins played the role well, it's not that difficult to play the quiet reserved girl with few lines and all you have to do is smile sweetly. But she does take the more action oriented side of her role very well, and she eventually convinced me that she's more than just a soft spoken sweet face (queue training montage here). 


     Julia Roberts was brilliant as the Queen though. She's well practiced in how to be haughty, lavish and mischievous. She even manages to deliver the snarky comedy with perfect timing and shrillness to the voice. 


     I do like how the writers/directors decided to incorporate the talking mirror, it was a very unique but effective way of letting the viewer get inside the Queen's head.  


     Prince Alcott was either the best Prince ever or the worst Prince ever, I'm a bit conflicted. On one hand he's got the privileged Prince down, the masochism, the large ego and instant attraction to Snow. Then once in awhile you get a glimpse of a half decent guy. But to me he was still a douche 90% of the time, and I really wondered how Snow could be attracted to him (I'm betting on the whole "she never really met anyone else"). 


     The dwarves/acrobats, stole the show. They MADE the movie in my opinion. They're a hilarious bad ass group, mining gold in a different kind of way, and when they're paired with Snow they become absolutely the sweetest group of guys ever! 


     The ending does diverge from the traditional story a bit - and I had waited the whole movie to wonder how they'd incorporate the apple. I could live with the ending though, it showed a more mature Snow that isn't as daft as I initially thought. Then in some weird twist of fate we get a Bollywood musical at the end complete with high pitched singing, choreographed dances and swirls of colorful skirts. I just went with it.


     Mirror Mirror is one of those guilty pleasure kind of movies. You'll probably watch it when you're really really bored and need a bizarre pick me up or you'll watch it once and go with it and then probably never watch it again. But in the end, you'll probably never speak of it to anyone because it's a shameful, shameful secret. 

Rating: 3/5 Drinkable cups of tea!

It was genuinely entertaining, I mean it's not like it has some soul shattering revelations that will change your life. You'll watch it for the laughs and the costumes and it's my first taste of how well Lily Collins acts - and how well she'll do for The Mortal Instruments movies. I think she'll do just fine, especially when they need the whole hesitant-turned kick ass heroine part. I just ask that they reign in her eyebrows a bit.